With This Kiss

 

With This Kiss

I liked working in the kitchen of the nursing home knowing that the money was starting to flow again. An offer came along to earn extra cash, so I started cleaning the carpets with Mike twice a week. He walked into the kitchen regularly to say hello, making sure I had noticed him each time. An underlying motive from his visits that made him unaware of what he was implying. I imagined he was trying to connect with me on some level but for what purpose; I did not know. I didn’t see us be friends, because his persona, was etched heterosexual. He was so straight, in fact, that he sometimes made me feel uncomfortable. However, there was something that I liked.

He invited me over to his place to hang out one day. I was reluctant at first, figuring we would spend most of the time watching football or sport events on television. However, we didn't do much of anything, except play board games and watch reruns on TV. It was nice getting to know him on that level, but like everything else; it was just a matter of time before I figured out what underlying motive was transpiring. I was starting to think that I had found myself another curious foe for experimentation.

Leaning on the couch next to one another and being sprawled on the bed playing board games, gave way to several other games that I was already accustomed to. It was the occasional graze of the leg while reaching for the dice that sent chills through me. At times, it was the physical touch of the arm congratulating a nice roll, made my body weak. Mike was afraid of confrontation, so he didn't want to encourage anything on the slight chance that I would not approve of his advances. Not at any given time, did I offer information to him. He never knew the truth about me. And besides, I wasn't obvious in my nature. It was more of the fact that he was frightened of becoming the fool showing his curiosities to an unknown predator. It was a delicate situation to become wrapped up in; afraid of the rejection and understanding the consequences in case efforts did not go as planned. I had to remember what it was like to conceal every impulse with so much fear behind you that it rips you apart. Although I was still living with fear myself, I had more of an understanding of what he was going through. I will admit that my personality is stubborn, and usually I don’t bow down to the hunt. I liked to be the hunted. This time I knew, however, I had to make the first move.

The first night of cleaning the dining room proved to be a bit of a challenge. I had to transport enormous machines out of the van into the dining room which was physical work. I didn't enjoy it, and when I thought, it couldn't get any worse pushing the cleaner back and forth for two hours; we had to repeat the whole process again in order to suck up the dirt. The sweat was streaming down my forehead as I cursed with every tug. On occasion, Mike had glanced over towards me with a grin. He was checking to see, how I was holding up. With all my emotions in tack, I stared back with a blank expression.

The residents were either asleep in their rooms or were talking to a skeleton crew of nurses. We met in the middle of the room and finished the job with only a small walkway to exit the dining room. He used the machine to go over our tracks as we walked across the carpet to the concrete hallway. It was time to take a break. Amen.

We turned off the machines and made our way down towards the employee's change lounge, one floor below. Upon entering, Mike ripped off his shirt and splashed water onto his face and then on his exposed chest. With the sweat streaming off our bodies and me having a free show, I was starting to boil even more. He stood in the middle of the room with a mixture of water droplets and sweat cascading through the trail of masculine hairs of his midsection while elevating the erotic tension further, he slowly unbuttoned his jeans. I couldn't help but watch as something grew rapidly within and was aching to be released from its tight enclosure. He unzipped his fly while his other hand started to caress his smooth stomach. I noticed him eyeing the bulge underneath my own denim, showing off the excitement. He stood watching as I pushed down and stroked the outside of my jeans trying to give it a bit of release. He stepped towards me and cupped his palm while leaning in order to kiss me. He squeezed as his warm lips of salt embraced mine. A soft moan echoed throughout the lounge that seemed to flow through the entire hallway. At that moment, when the world fell silent, the door into the lounge swung open. A nurse poked her head in and was horrified.

"Sorry. I didn't think anyone was down here." It was all she could muster, as she let the door close behind her and ran upstairs.

Everything changed its proportion, and we scrambled to put ourselves back together. With fear surging within, we thought that we would be fired or thrown in jail for indecent public exposure.

I thought to myself,

"This scenario was not going to go over well."

When we scurried upstairs, we heard tire squeals outside the front entrance. His mother came barging through the front door and was headed straight for us. I don't know about Mike, but I pretty much shit myself, right there. She escorted us into the dining room and told us to put the equipment away. We had both concentrated, on the task at hand. We figured it was going to be our last time together. We stole eye contact of comfort from one another while the last bit of machinery was put away. The only hope that I had was that the police would be kind and put us in the same jail cell together.

As it turned out, his mother was only pissed off because Mike knew better than to leave the floor without letting the night crew know that he was still in the building. The nurse realized after the fact that it was Mike, and so she called her boss rather than the police. That had been the best relief that I've ever had that wasn't sexual.

When we arrived at his place, I called my mom to let her know that I was staying overnight because I had to work early the next morning. I was actually telling the truth. I just neglected to tell her any more details.

That night, we kept looking at one another. We both accepted the fact that eventually something was going to happen. He encouraged me to sleep in his bed, as regular mates do when hanging out together. It was with a whisper of passion in his voice that threw me. To the world, Mike was straight, but when he was with me, his personality and insights changed. Few men wanting to experience gay sex would not want to be introduced to erotic passion. Most likely, it would be one-sided and hard-core. Mike was different. I think he knew it too.

He took my hand and escorted me towards the bed. In unison, we discarded all clothing, not taking our eyes off one another. When we were nestled under the covers we laid on our backs looking up at the ceiling; silently questioning what was going to happen next. His leg became entwined with mine while his hand was resting on my thigh. There were no words exchanged. It was nice to be close, feeling content without the known outcome of an orgasm. We lay there until dreams took us even closer together.

When morning rose, Mike's body was spooned against my mine with his arm suspended over my waist. I didn't stir; fearful I would disturb the moment. I wanted it to last as long as possible. I clutched his hand and wrapped it tighter.  Together we laid for what seemed to be hours in time. When he woke, he removed his arm from my waist-side and went into the shower. He was a beautiful vision gliding naked across the floor, as I watched. I continued to stay in bed as my own erotic behaviour would not diminish. The mere thought of him in the shower was arousing me even further. When he walked out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, he handed me one, as if to tell me to get into the shower.  I did as instructed and stood up from the bed wrapping the towel around my waist. My manhood was stretching the cotton outward.  Mike noticed and gave me a quick smile.

Weeks had gone by, and my mind would not stay focused on anything except him. He finally called. While contemplating the inevitable, he in turn mentioned that he missed me and wanted to hang out again. I was wondering if the term, hang out, had a different meaning.

We met Friday night at his place. I guessed it could go either two ways; up in flames and straight to hell or soft and sweet as candy.

He met me at the doorway as I approached.

"Let's take a walk." He said, gesturing me off the pathway towards the street.

It was close to nine o'clock, and the sun was tired of beating down. Dusk would come soon. The breeze held just enough warmth in the air to make the night intoxicating while weak stars tried to be seen overhead.

We stopped at a park bench, quite a distance from home. It was secluded away from traffic lights, roads and houses and more importantly people. There was not a soul around except for the occasional firefly soaring by. The moment finally came when we started to talk.

"So, what's been on your mind the past week?" I asked, soothing the way. I figured I would start the conversation, knowing it was going to be a touchy subject. His first reply wasn't what I had expected.

"I know we have to talk about the other night... I've had so many things I wanted to say, but now I can’t think of one. I do know, that I’ve always wanted to try things that I would have never thought of doing before I had met you. That one time at work was strange. I know I initiated it, but I couldn't control myself. Everything I did was right at the time." Mike’s head was downwards, as if embarrassed to confess his sins. I looked directly at him and moved his chin upward.

“When I slept over the other night, it was a great feeling having you beside me. It was more than just mates, wasn't it? I know you felt the same." I said as I may have overstepped my boundaries. At least, I was honest.

He looked at me with a confused stare and liquid eyes. I did everything in my power to be sympathetic toward him. I think the biggest roadblock was that he was fighting his feelings that were getting in the way of the sex. It was supposed to be only about the sex. I thought the powers of two evils were worse than one, so I let dogs lie. We continued with idle conversations of the weeks past and started our journey homeward. It took every bit of restraint not to grab hold of his hand. I figured it would be too much for him, so I let everything go back as it was until he was ready.

"I know things happen for a reason... I just need to know the reasons." Mike announced.

"I'm willing to encourage that fact, patiently." I replied.

We left that night alone, until dusk fell once again.

He called that day with an excited tone to his voice, inviting me again. His parents were going to be out as they had a business trip to Ottawa to attend to. The fact that they were not going to be back until morning made me excited at the endless possibilities of what could happen. Was he ready to acknowledge his erotic emotions or was he going to climax on me?

On my way over I had to stop at the corner store. There was no reason why I had to go in, except that my nerves were on the edge, and I needed a distraction. I bought a pack of gum and two cupcakes. My mind was swimming with scenes of what the night may offer a touch of romance, sexual exploration, pain sweat or tears.

I forced myself to stay on the positive side as I had faith. Any outcome that comes to pass would be wonderful because no matter how I dreamed, or acted; It was all coming out of the closet again. After re-evaluating myself, I had come to realize that this wasn't about having sex. This time it was about my feelings surfacing in its raw form; I was beginning to fall in love with him.

Great, something else to come to terms with. I thought to myself.

When I arrived at his place, the two of us started our descent into the basement. Most of the evening played on as usual; sitting on the couch listening to music or watching television.

Eventually, when we sat closer to one another on the couch, as his arm slid from the back of my head grazing my neck. The warmth of his body next to mine was absolute. He was ready. My shoulder leaned into him as I placed my hand gently upon his leg, rubbing with graceful movements.

"Lay down with your legs across." He initiated, showing me the motion of his arm. Immediately, I obeyed and moved my body as I twisted flat on my back, with my head nestled on his lap. That moment only lasted a short while, and in all its comfort, he finally spoke.

"Why don't you come up here?" He suggested as he tugged on my arm and motioned me up slowly.

He pulled my face closer to his, and with a nod of consent, his tongue was placed deep inside my mouth, and the palm of his hand was putting pressure on my already grown manhood through my jeans. Mike questioned himself, at the possibility of stopping. He never did. Feeling the wave of mixed emotions that projected through him, he submitted to his own reality. He pushed me back down onto the couch and placed his body on mine. With grinding hips, I felt every inch of him with no insecurities. I took the next step and grabbed underneath to undo his zipper that was holding his wonder and pulled it out. As eager as I was, I wanted the embrace it, with my mouth. Mike had the same eagerness, so he encouraged me off the sofa and into the bedroom. In a flash, we staggered with half undone clothes.

We stood at the edge of the bed undressing fully and slid beneath the covers. We both became the explored and the explorer in our own eroticism for hours.

When his body collapsed from exhaustion, he rolled off my own and put his arm around my waist. He didn't realize the glaze of Cum that was spewed upon my stomach. As we lay there breathing heavy, he swirled his finger through the glaze on my chest, as if stirring a love potion.

The time caressed by, as the hours of exploration seemed to shoot by in minutes. Our breathing slowed to a comfortable state, and no words to speak of. We stayed spellbound caressing one another until we drifted off into a wondrous sleep.

When the morning rose through the window, Mike turned and smiled. For the first time, he felt all the nervousness gone. He tossed the blankets from my naked body and tugged gently on my arm. It was a sign for me to join him in the shower. The gesture was of pure romance, as if from a movie. With water flowing over our bodies, and the gentleness of warm lather soothing our skin, I couldn't tell if the water or tears were falling from his cheeks.

"Is anything wrong?" I asked, moving him away from the spraying water.

I grabbed his hand in mine, as my heart sank.

"I'm okay. I guess I've been hiding for so long, that everything has finally caught up with me." He released.

"I mean..." He stopped to gather his thoughts, and I let him take his time.

"I'm happy...I've never felt so incredibly free, before I met you. At first, it was about the sex. I was curious and took it as a lesson. It doesn't mean your gay wanting to try something new. It's not about that. It's about us and the connection I have made with you, emotionally.

I pulled him into my arms.

"I accept the fact that I am gay, and you know what? It's okay, because, deep down, I’ve discovered that being in love is what freedom is about. You are the one thing that has made me realize this. I can be myself when I’m around you”

Mike released everything from his soul as he continued,

”I can finally admit that I have fallen in love, as my heart is with you. I hope you feel the same towards me?”

With an embrace, I kissed him with all the freedom he deserves.

“Yes, I do.”