Living Free

The aroma of pine and fir lingered throughout the valley. Glancing out the window, I glimpsed at a Red Crossbill resting on the fence alongside the walkway leading up to the porch. His bright reddish-orange belly was enjoying his morning delicacy of a Buckeye caterpillar caught against a Russian olive tree that grew wild down the pathway. The morning brought warblers of all kinds that could be heard, as their morning songs echoed through the hills beginning a new day. Richard was blessed with nature's spectacular view each morning. The fresh dew glistens off blades of grass and the fog drifting off the mountains into the Blackfoot Valley below are nothing but pure bliss.

He decided to let Mark sleep. He stood at the edge of the bed a moment to watch his lover stir himself back into dreams. Mark was exhausted when he went to bed late, pulling off his dirty clothes, and kicking off his muddy boots, creating a pile on the floor.

“I guess he thinks he is a cowboy. How rugged can he be?” Richard remarked to himself, grinning.

The smell of buttermilk filled the air as Mark continued to stir in his bed, awakened by the smell of a morning feast that filled the room.

"Breakfast is almost ready. I took the liberty of heating the water in the tub so you can get washed up.” There was a pause, as Mark tossed and stirred under the covers some more.

“You were so rugged last night, throwing your body next to mine under the covers, sweaty and covered in dirt." Richard laughed to himself.

"Sorry about that. All I wanted to do was to crawl into bed." Mark replied, roughing the sleep from his eyes.

"I was thinking we could take a hike down the mountain into Blackfoot Valley. We could pick thimble berries and fish for trout in Harpers Lake. Don't you think it would be nice to forget about building for one day?" Richard suggested.

Mark removed himself from the bed and headed towards the tub as he grabbed the soap from the cling-on wired basket hanging over the edge creating a splash. He replied,

"That sounds great. We could use the break." He glanced around the room as he did each morning for the past two years; bathing in the realization of this precious new life he was given. He knew that the two of them had become stronger, as each season passed.

Mark had been out adding an extension to the rear side of the cabin, working feverishly to have it done by early autumn. Its purpose was to allow more wood and food storage throughout the winter months, keeping it dry and safe. The spring kept them both busy cutting and preparing wood that was used for the new addition. Plans were to elevate the floor from water flow of the rainy seasons and winter thaw, keeping the wood from becoming wet and rotted. A higher deck was to store beans, rice, canned goods or any wild game he had caught. Last year was a rough winter due to heavy snowfalls, so most of their time it was spent indoors, except for the odd hunting expedition catching rabbit or with any luck, deer. There was enough food stored, and firewood piled to last the season; however, the idea of more space to store such items sounded like the perfect solution. Mark knew when inherited the old homestead, that in time it would have to be waterproofed, insulated and expanded. He never thought that the first winter was going to be so rough. Mark's father had craftsman's hands and taught him through the years how to build sheds, tables and chairs. When he was just a boy, the two of them built all their own furniture and helped their neighbouring friends build their houses. There were a few pieces he had taken after his father passed and had kept them, even from his wife.

His wife sued him for everything that he had when she found out about the secret affair he was having, about three years ago. She made it known to everyone in town of their sexual nature, which spread like wildfire, leaving even their jobs unbearable. The law had already been ruled unconstitutional, by the Montana Supreme Court, so they had no choice but to risk everything and remove them from the norm.

For most of Mark's life, living on the edge was nothing new to him.  His whole life was based on risks. He submitted himself to a marriage and a job that he didn’t even want. The social standards played a large role in almost all of his decision making, until he met Richard. Their passion flared upon meeting and even then; he knew he had to risk everything again in order to be with him. That’s when the idea of moving up into the mountains came to pass.

It was a dream come true, escaping the homophobic conditioning that the city of Kalispell offered. Mark talked about running away into the mountains more than once when they had first met. However, knowing it was only a fantasy, and that it could never happen; he dismissed it as just a dream, until that day, they were given a chance to risk everything, for that one dream to be free and live off the land.  It would have been easier to move across the state line into Washington, but since their lives were already built on risks, they knew in their hearts that destiny was to follow. They hadn't realized the vigorous strengths and determination they would have to endure in order to sustain some form of freedom. Mark also knew that if their love could hold them together through all the political and social turmoil that they had already suffered, then the risk was worth taking.

Above Blackfoot Valley, his father built a cabin, back in the early 70s. It was never known to him that it even existed, so for many years it laid barren, high up on the Montana Mountains. When his father passed, it was solely left to him. With its 10 acres of surrounding land, it was not only a dream that was passed down to him but a chance for a new beginning. His father must have known what the cabin would mean to his son, when the time came, so in the bittersweet aftermath of his divorce, the two of them risked everything and left their old lives behind.

The first year was the hardest to overcome. The winter was harsh, and the winter thaw brought floods that destroyed most of the food. Luckily, the land healed itself, and they managed to survive the rest of the season.  From that point on, they underwent wilderness training in order to understand how to survive the wild and locate food. They discovered that star wort, mallow, and rock cress had nutritional value, as Baneberry, milk vetch and hairy nightshade were poisonous to the touch, contacted or if digested.

Mark took an interest in hunting. He learned how to trap and hunt pheasant, moose and black tail jack rabbits. His adventures had to be trained carefully to aid, direction and sight since he was in unfamiliar territory.

The Montana mountain region comprised itself with badgers, mountain lions, wild cats and grizzly bears. Many other dangerous foes like prairie rattlesnakes, brown spiders and puss caterpillars had to be visualized and researched of their dangers. Rarely live mammals ventured down off the mountain to the lower elevations, but having a hunting knife or shotgun, never hurt. They learned of the proper clothing to be worn throughout the lower valley. It can protect you against poisonous insect bites and reptile encounters. Everything had to be learned and memorized in order to survive this way of life that they had chosen.

“Are you ready for our adventure, young man?” Mark asked playfully, as he reached for his backpack.

“Okay, let’s see if we remembered everything.  Knife, whistle, pressure bandages, notebook, pencil, sunglasses, sun block, map, and compass. Check. Now it’s your turn to name  the items in your backpack. Come on handsome, start naming.” Mark quizzed.

“I have a lighter, fish bait, food, cutlery, first-aid kit and water bottles. Check. Now can we go?” He asked impatiently.

“I think you forgot something.” Mark riddled.

“Did you pack your hunting knife?”

“Oops, I forgot. Hold on.” As he walked over to the gun rack to remove his hunting blade that Mark had bought him celebrating their new life together.

“Okay I'm all set. Let’s move out.” He declared, almost running out of the cabin.

“Hold on minute Buckshot. I didn't know we were in a race.” Mark amplified trying to catch up to him.

The sun shone through the hillside stretching its rays through the Black Cottonwoods, still managing to bear its heat. With the nesting of songs heard from the hill tops, it was a glorified peaceful day. Their hands met as they trailed out of the bush into a large field of yellow wildflowers. 

“Do you remember the route down into the valley?” Mark quizzed.

“We follow northwest, straight down the tree line towards the Douglas fir, and walk around the ravine below.  You placed markers on the Douglas fir trees along the way to make it a clearer path. I figured it should only take us a few more hours to reach the ravine.” Mark was impressed.

Do you want to rest for a while before going on?” He asked.

“I’m not tired, so let’s continue. In a few more hours we will be off the hillside, into the ravine and then reaching the edge of Benton Lake. Once there, we can spread out the gear and have ourselves some freshly caught cutthroat trout for dinner.” Richard anxiously proposed.

“That sounds good. Besides, we are close to badger territory, and I don’t feel like getting into a pissing contest with one of them again.”

“True. Remember the last time you almost got your leg chewed off? I kept telling you to stay clear, but you kept insisting on how cute they were, until you fell off a tree stump, and it went chasing after you.”  Mark couldn't help but bring up the story. He continued.

“Luckily he only grabbed hold of your one leg. I remember how frantically you tried to shake him off before he almost chewed his way to the bone. When its teeth drew blood, you started screaming like a banshee, close to tears.” Mark stopped the story, waiting for a wisecrack.

“Yes, but then came my knight in shining armour saving his maiden, by banging sticks like a freaking lunatic, waving his arm's up in the air screaming at the top of his lungs so the whole valley could hear. I swear to God you enjoyed that day.”

Mark laughed and took hold of Richards’s hand bringing him closer for a kiss.

“Yes I did enjoy that day, and I’ve enjoyed every day since then.”

The heat started to become hotter, as they made their way downwards. They stopped a moment and passed the water bottle to one another when Mark heard ruffling sounds over-head. At first, it was dismissed as he assumed it was a small animal of no importance. However, when the needle grass began to sway, Mark knew something was hiding within and much larger. 

The two of them stopped and dropped their backpacks to the ground, freeing them from any obstruction. More rustling within the needle grass echoed, as the air fell silent except for the eagle flying overhead, screeching across the vast blue sky for his feast. The two of them stood motionless.

With no air filling their lungs from the anticipation, a cougar sauntered through the tall needle grass and peered over the rocks, watching them.

“Grab your knife.” Mark ordered Richard in a low voice, as he kicked the backpack closer towards him.

Richard did as instructed, as he steadily unzipped the top flap of the sack pulling out the hunting blade that was easily accessible. Mark carefully took Richards hand, as they backed away slowly with their knives extended outward, not taking their eyes off the wild cat. The fear and adrenaline coursed through their veins, as neither one of them had even seen a cougar this close before. It must have ventured off the higher elevation, searching.

Behind them about fifty meters was a cliff that fell nearly thirty feet below onto a pile of rocks. Richard, not for an instant let go of Mark's hand, as they continued their slow movements backwards unaware of the ledge, they were walking towards. The tight squeeze of their bond was hurting but the comfort relief of them together was withstanding.

Just then, when Mark had veered off to the side, he had noticed the ravine below. The wildcat started his approach.

"Fuck. What are we going to do?" Richard begged Mark for an answer.

"Keep your knife out, don’t turn your back on it, stand tall and keep eye contact. If it lunges, go for the throat."

“Okay, do I start laughing now?” he asked knowing it wasn’t funny.

Richard had this intense feeling that this wasn't going to end well. Although they prepared for the worst and trained for the unexpected, the ultimate realization had occurred to him that this was not their domain.

“Why won’t it leave?” Richard asked, terrified.

A sudden escape into silence overcame him. Removing his gaze from the predator, he looked into his lover's eyes and released a smile. The beast leaped down off the rocks facing them ever closer, sensing their fear.  With a squeeze of Mark's hand, the wildcat lunged towards them with its fierce jaws extended. With one quick jolt from its massive paws and one hundred pounds of flesh, he sprang off Mark's chest with its cunning strategy. His hand came unbound from Richards, as he plummeted backwards onto the rocks below, without even a moment to scream. Richard turned and saw his lover’s body crushed against the bottom of the ravine, as the blood flowed over the rocks. With a quick twist of the cougar’s enormous body, it began pacing closer toward him; he closed his watered eyes, and slowly his hand let the knife drop to the ground. There was nothing left for him to do. The two of them risked everything to be together and so in that instant; he invited his fate. He could still hear the screeching of the eagle soaring high above the vast blue sky, as his watered eyes began to turn, blood red.